A poem I wrote before going to see my best friends show

[deaddustwitch]

Sometimes I wonder
How it feels
To taste every emotion as it comes and be okay
To not be overwhelmed by feeling
To not be stolen of my words before I can express why.

Sometimes I wonder
How it feels
To be able to identify every emotion and accept them
To know why, when, how
To not be robbed of my voice before I can articulate it.

Sometimes I wonder
How it feels
To feel
To have a soul full of love and joy and frustration
To not be left as an empty husk, crying on the ground for no reason at all.

Sometimes I wonder
If we experience any real emotions
Anymore, that is
Maybe we just feel the constructs of society
The expectations that overwhelm our original complexity.

I wonder if it matters
I wonder if we are doing okay
I wonder if we'll take back the global warming of our minds
The man-made destruction of passion.

And, I say I yearn for things
But maybe I just want to not be a shell of flesh
Blood and skin
Bone and cells
Soft and tender, bruising under touch

Sometimes
Sometimes
Sometimes I wonder if I could take a pear
And taste it in full
Every sensor in my brain sending up sparks

But I don't eat pears.

Sometimes I wonder if I am too set in my ways
To change
But I am kept around by the ones I love
And they love me too
So
Maybe it is okay
Maybe I can keep wondering a while longer.