![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Is it time for home?
Jan. 22nd, 2026 06:39 pmThe days have been passing very fast. I think this is because I've been sick. I got a really bad cough, and stayed home on Monday and Wednesday. On Wednesday, I didn't wake up until 2:30 pm, which still feels crazy. I've just been sleeping the days away like I'm in a video game. Part of me worries about missing things, but I also don't care very much. I can catch up.
In other news, I had my interview for college today. They offered me a place with grades I achieved in year 10, so I'm pretty confident about getting in. Which is good. I've been placed in the aspire program, which feels crazy.
Am I gifted, or just insane? That's the real question.
Other news. I've not binged in a while. But I've also barely eaten. I've lost basically all sense of taste from my sickness, can't smell either. Oh well. Tis life.
I've also had no appetite, but the cravings to eat stuff is still there. Not as strongly. Maybe my dreams of photosynthesis would come true if it wasn't so rainy this week.
Three weeks of sitting in an exam hall from Tuesday. Wish me luck y'all.
I wish my brain would fucking shut up for a while. I wish I didn't have to blast music in my ears to deafen myself, cause it damages my ears.
I wish I had more clothes I liked, and I wish I had even more earrings, and I wish I had a fringe. I wish I was free to get another piercing, and dye my hair, and I wish I didn't have to wait.
I wish I didn't have to be closeted to my family. I wish I wasn't scared. They could accept me. They're not homophobic. But it's because I go to an all girls school. They might not believe me. I need to wait, until I spend enough time with all genders. Then they might believe me. I hope.
I'm tired of giving a shit. To rephrase, I'm tired of pretending. I don't even do it well. I can't understand why so many people enjoy being around me. I just smile and read tarot and ask after their projects and problems and days. I do care. I promise. I'm just tired.
I keep saying I want to go home. My mum told me it's creepy, especially when I'm actually at home. So I just think it. I think it too often, and I can't understand why.
Let's let the dust cover us for a while. Then they'll know I'm real.
-Mimi
In other news, I had my interview for college today. They offered me a place with grades I achieved in year 10, so I'm pretty confident about getting in. Which is good. I've been placed in the aspire program, which feels crazy.
Am I gifted, or just insane? That's the real question.
Other news. I've not binged in a while. But I've also barely eaten. I've lost basically all sense of taste from my sickness, can't smell either. Oh well. Tis life.
I've also had no appetite, but the cravings to eat stuff is still there. Not as strongly. Maybe my dreams of photosynthesis would come true if it wasn't so rainy this week.
Three weeks of sitting in an exam hall from Tuesday. Wish me luck y'all.
I wish my brain would fucking shut up for a while. I wish I didn't have to blast music in my ears to deafen myself, cause it damages my ears.
I wish I had more clothes I liked, and I wish I had even more earrings, and I wish I had a fringe. I wish I was free to get another piercing, and dye my hair, and I wish I didn't have to wait.
I wish I didn't have to be closeted to my family. I wish I wasn't scared. They could accept me. They're not homophobic. But it's because I go to an all girls school. They might not believe me. I need to wait, until I spend enough time with all genders. Then they might believe me. I hope.
I'm tired of giving a shit. To rephrase, I'm tired of pretending. I don't even do it well. I can't understand why so many people enjoy being around me. I just smile and read tarot and ask after their projects and problems and days. I do care. I promise. I'm just tired.
I keep saying I want to go home. My mum told me it's creepy, especially when I'm actually at home. So I just think it. I think it too often, and I can't understand why.
Let's let the dust cover us for a while. Then they'll know I'm real.
-Mimi
