In a few hours, I'll be a whole year older. Crazy to think about, but also not.
I've grown accustomed the passing of time over the years. Changing the year when I write the date, doing the maths in year 7 to see when I'd do my GCSE's, and see it be 2026. It's now 2026.
I really wish I could fall asleep. I'm not even trying to be awake this time, I'm not even tired.
I tell myself it's insomnia, my mother tells me it's my own fault for being on my phone before bed. I don't know who to believe.
On Friday, I was coming back from drama, and looked at the sky. It was starry, because it was cold. I just looked up at them for a while. It was nice.
I just looked out of my window, and it's cloudy. Idk why I thought it wouldn't be.

It's depression, I think. I think I've been this way for a long time.
I just looked up the symptoms for depression in children and teens, and I fit most of them. Exhaustion, trouble sleeping, distant from friends, even over/undereating.
There we go then.
I reread an old entry, just now. I said I thought I wasn't depressed. How things change.

I just went on WhatsApp, and three of my friends wished me happy birthday at midnight, including my friend who forgot last year. That makes me happy, I think.

I've not felt anything real for a while. I hope that changes.

-Mimi

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deaddustwitch

February 2026

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