deaddustwitch | Younger me was quirky

My head hurts. Everything hurts, and I wish I could actually be productive and revise like a normal person. I went to the gym today, which was good. I want to get strong.
I was thinking about how when I was in year 7, I was terrified of breaking rules. I once had a pretty bad panic attack, and I was taken to the wellbeing room, to calm down or whatever.
There was a year 9 girl there, and she asked me why I was there. I always remember what she said to me.
"No one cares."
She didn't say it in a mean way. Not at all. There was tone that cannot be read. She was trying to tell me that it wasn't a big deal, if I missed out on a house point, if I forgot a book, if I wasn't perfect all the time.
If year 7 saw me now, five years later, she would probably be amazed.
I do homework before tutor starts, less than an hour before it's due. I copy off my friends if I'm tired.
I sometimes hide my homework booklets, say I forgot to give me more time to do it.
I eat in class everyday, because I don't have a decent area to eat in, and because I can't stop eating. I used to chew gum in class as well.
I never got caught, because why would they think anything of the quiet nice student?
It's quite funny.
I wish things could just be okay. But they never are with me.